ON LOVE

I saw this posted on another blog and wanted to share. Apparently, it's a letter from John Steinbeck in response to his teenage son's letter informing him that he had fallen in love with a girl while at boarding school. Here is the letter:

New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

Via A Cup of Jo

THOUGHTS FROM AN ASPIRING DEVELOPMENT PRACTITIONER #2

So disturbed recently by this issue going on in Egypt. The fact that the new government raided NGO offices focused on governance and democracy is totally unacceptable. I don't know if they realized what an outcry the whole situation would cause, but they aren't doing themselves any favors. It's just so disturbing that they are now looking to charge these NGO workers with criminal activity. Doesn't it make you look suspicious when you target well-respected NGOs that are in your country to make sure your elections are free and fair? Hmmm...

A quote from the article:


"We've operated for 30 years, everywhere from (dictator Augusto) Pinochet's Chile to Nicaragua, to the Soviet Union when it was the Soviet Union, to Central Europe, to Indonesia under Suharto," he (IRI President Lorne Craner) said. "We work in China, Belarus. This has never, ever happened in the 30 years where we get out offices raided. And Egypt is supposed to be an American friend."


Just another testament to the fact that the life of a development practitioner is anything but predictable.

THOUGHTS FROM AN ASPIRING DEVELOPMENT PRACTITIONER #1

How do you know you are being immersed in development theory? When your first thought upon seeing students trying to raise money outside of a metro station so they can go to New Orleans and help build houses is "That money would be much better used to hire local people to build those houses. More effective than wasting it on flights and transaction costs for a short-term volunteer project. Would definitely be more helpful to the local community."

This is my world.

TOP 10 FOR 2011

So, I haven't made any resolutions yet. They usually come in the next couple of weeks. I have given up trying to make them during the holidays because things are too crazy and I find that they are really not that thoughtful. Usually my resolutions turn out to be those that start mid-January. :)

That said, I wanted to create a Top 10 list for myself for 2011. I thought it would be fun to think back on some of the great things for the year. Here they are, NOT in any order.

1. Starting my MA at GWU - so exciting and fulfilling!
2. Meeting my two new nieces for the first time - Jeri and London
3. Visiting Boston for the first time (thanks, Jen and Nigel!)
4. Road trip across the country with Erik (and the fact that we both survived without killing each other)
5. Moving to Virginia - Alexandria is a wonderful place to live! So beautiful and historical!
6. All things DC (museums, restaurants, coffee shops, diversity, beautiful parts of town, the bustle - this includes all of the amazing new friends I have made both in my program and at church)
7. Finally getting to buy my fist Mac!
8. Getting the Kindle Fire for Christmas!
9. Following Whitney's pregnancy and the birth of her first baby. :)
10. Spending the holidays with the whole huge family - such wonderful chaos.

I'LL JOIN YOU TOMORROW...

I recently received an invitation (finally, something different on the ward listserve!) to join an Occupy DC march to the Convention Center last night to protest the Republican gathering there. I was tempted...I'll admit that it's mostly because I just have this really strong desire to join some kind of movement (and I kind of like this one to some degree). Maybe it's so that in the future I can say "Yeah, I was there." Instead, I will probably be saying, "Yeah, I knew people who were there but I had to study, was lazy, didn't want to pay the metro fare to get there...etc." So lame, but that's the way it is. Plus, it's getting cold here.

Anyway, I feel like this article is a sign that I was right not to go yesterday. Maybe I'll make it to the next event. Maybe. If it fits into my class schedule.

"I'm Getting Older, Too..."

(this is me in thinking pose - yes, it's an old picture)

Good news - I heard from one of my schools yesterday that I was accepted. This is a huge relief since I didn't make it into what I was thinking of as my safety school the week before and was getting pretty depressed about it. At least now I have the option of going to grad school, right? Just waiting to hear from a couple more schools, then I actually have to figure out what I am going to do. I hate making decisions like this. Sigh. But I love having options! :)

Reflecting

Okay, I have a confession to make. I really don't get the whole New Year's thing. I mean, unless you are a big drinker or are really excited to set off your illegal fireworks right outside my window, I just don't really think it's a big deal. Maybe that's because I've never had a magical Happy New Year moment, but most of the parties and celebrations I have ever been to on NYE I could describe with one word: lame. (sorry if you are one of the people that was with me at those moments).

Anyway, upon further reflection I decided to write down a couple of points of interest from the past year. I don't really like making New Year's Resolutions because I think they are, well, lame - I mean, why does it have to be a special day to make a goal? Why is January 1 different than any other day? So, here are some thoughts (don't feel you have to read these if you have absolutely no interest...though if that is the case, I doubt you are still reading this post now...):

1. Getting old sucks. It just does. Whether it's turning 29 or 90, it just really stinks. Eventually you lose your drivers license, can't walk on your own, and all of your friends are gone. Sucky.

2. I still am a really crappy correspondant. Hopefully, at this point all of my good friends are aware of that failing and don't condemn me when I don't return calls or emails quickly. Though I do have to say that texting might be my strong point...

3. I love seeing my best friends start their families. There is a twinge of sadness that I'm not there with them, but overall I am so completely happy that they are getting what they want in life and they have beautiful and loving families and are having great adventures.

4. Being sick sucks. Being sick for over a year sucks. Being sick for over a year and not really have a complete solution sucks. Being sick for over a year with no solution and having tons of tests REALLY sucks. Blood tests, cat scans, x-rays, EKGs, ultrasounds, endoscopies, and wearing a tube down your throat all really suck. Having to pretend that you feel fine at work so your supervisor doesn't start to assume that you can't do your job and keep hinting that maybe you should take some time off so you can sit at home and do nothing also sucks. Moving on...

5. I have developed adult ADD. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Case in point - grad school applications are still not done. ADD + sick = big time sucks.

6. Although MacGregor (our dog) is old, runs into things, can't really see or smell very well, and sleeps 23.5 hours a day, I still love that old man. There's nothing better on a rainy morning than cuddling in a nice, soft, warm bed with a really soft, warm dog sleeping deeply next to you. (of course, later when that dog tracks in poop from the backyard because he can't see that he's stepping in it, those feelings begin to fade).

7. I'm nervous and scared that for some reason this grad school thing won't work out. Maybe it's not what I'm supposed to be doing (which would be the worst since there's nothing else to do!), and maybe I won't get into any of the schools I apply to. Or maybe I will get in and won't be feeling better and won't have any health insurance...sigh. I need to stop worrying about this.

8. I really love my family. As we have gotten older, it had really opened up a whole new dimension to the relationships between me and my siblings. Although they still have the ability to bug me like no one else and won't ever let me forget my faults, they really are the only people in the whole world that I am utterly and completely comfortable with. I especially love hanging out with my sisters (sorry, boys). We know each other so well and can just laugh and have fun and be stupid and silly and mean and we will still love each other.

9. I am really excited that there will be a new niece and another new niece/nephew to join the family this year! It's hard that people don't live close by anymore, but I love those nieces and nephews more than I ever thought possible.

10. My sister-in-law stole my birthday. Okay, she didn't really steal it, but it's weird to not be the only one in the family with my birthday now. Although I do love you, R, and am happy you are a part of the family!

11. Sealings of super close friends and siblings are really great. When K and R got married this summer, I was just so happy for them. It will be fun to see how R starts to fit into the family dynamic as we get to know her better and she becomes one of the group.

12. I miss bread. I miss wheat. I even miss rye and barley even though I didn't eat them much before.

13. Confession - I haven't cut my hair for probably over a year now, not even a trim. I know, I know! It's horrible but when I think of the complications of trying to find someone who will use gluten-free products and sitting in a salon with gluten-filled air floating around me, I get really chicken. I keep putting it off. I'm really good at that. So when people tell me they like how long my hair is now, I always feel a twinge of guilt that it is a direct result of avoidance.

14. Apparently, I am "closed." Or that's the response that I got when a guy was telling me about a couple of guys in the ward who think I'm great. I then said, well, nobody ever asks me out. Then he said that they said that I seem "closed." What is that supposed to mean? Maybe because I don't have the flirting gene? I try to be friendly with everyone. I'm not actually sure why I am so bothered since most of the people in my ward are the age of my youngest brother, but I am. Oh well, this way I don't have to be awkward about dating someone under the age of 25 anyway.

I could probably think of some other things, but I kind of like the idea of my list ending at a random number like 14. Keeps people off-balance. Anyway, here's hoping that this year is a great one - although I am sure it will be full of ups and downs like the other ones. :)

Bad Idea

Bad Idea: Having a coworker convince you to finally try KenKen when you really need to be finishing up grad school applications. Or working...haha.

Overly Ambitious

Really, Mr. Mailman? Some days we can't even get you to come to our office and today you come twice? Don't complain that my packages are posted for tomorrow's date. It's your own fault for being overly-ambitious during the holiday season.

What the...seriously?

One of the weird things I have noticed working at a nonprofit is that everyone feels like you owe them something.

We seriously had a woman contact one of our staff members wondering if she could get a cookbook at a discount or for free because she had fundraised $50. Seriously? I don't even get a discount and you think you should? Why don't you just not give that donation and buy the book yourself? Sigh.

And, no, I don't want to feel pressured to buy Tupperware from you because you are on my volunteer planning committee - I work for a nonprofit, not a moneypot!

They also think that your logo is free property and have no issues with stealing it off the website and using it in company emails, shirts...whatever. Really? Would you do that with the logo of, say, McDonalds? Toyota? GAP? No! Why would this be any different??? If anything, nonprofits need to be even more careful about how their logo is used!

Anyway - just wanted to get some of that off of my chest.

Just Not Strong Enough

Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed by all of the websites and networks I am a part of and think I need to cut down. But then I can't. I just stay connected and constantly feel guilty that they aren't updated. Is that weird?

Spider Love

So, I don't know what's been going on recently, but I have been surrounded by spiders. Not just any old spiders, but big, ugly spiders. I mean really big. Bigger than I have ever seen in the area (though I do have to admit that they are not bigger than the spiders I saw in Mozambique and Brazil). The thing is - I really think they are following me.

For example, in the last couple of days, I have had some serious sightings. First, we spotted one of these really large, fat spiders on a web while going on our lunch walk at work. Not only did we just spot it on it's really large web, we saw it attack and eat a fly as we walked by. That sucker was fast for his girth, that's for sure.

Then, on my walk around the block, I had to duck under another really big spider web with a big fat spider on it multiple times.

What really convined me that they are following me, though, is that between my 2nd and 3rd times around the block (probably about 7 minutes apart), one of the big fat spiders literally built his web across the sidewalk and saw there waiting for me to walk through it. Really, just between those 2 rounds around the block, the stinking thing set a trap for me.

All I'm saying is that the spiders have it out for me. Maybe it's a part of our weird El Nino-ish weather this year. Maybe I just never knew it, but spiders are a part of the Halloween festivities because they normally come out more this time of the year and I never really noticed?

Not sure, but I just have one request - if they can't leave me alone, can they at least make their webs very visible? I definitely wouldn't want to accidentally run into one of these bad boys.

Madness of March

So, things are really busy at work right now. I mean really busy. I won't go into detail, but it is enough that I am wondering if it is related to some of my health problems lately. So, what was I doing all day today? Checking my bracket for our Yahoo! group. Am I even a big college basketball fan? No, not really. Are we talking about avoidance? Yes, definitely. Recognition is the first step, right?

Dear Kaiser

Dear Kaiser,

Thank you for thinking of me as one of the recipients of your post-appointment surveys. I must ask, though, if you really want me to fill out a survey when I have been feeling horrible for 3 months and nothing you are doing seems to help? Think about it.

Sincerely,
Joanna

Finally

Finally. It's not perfect, but at least we're moving in the right direction.

True Passion

So, I had a funny day at work yestereday where my ultimate passion was exposed. I was able to go on my first "exploratory meeting" with a company that might be considering a sponsorship. I was kind of the silent observer as the Senior Business Director spoke with the President of this company. My silence was broken, thought, when he mentioned that he has been interested in donating to the One Laptop per Child program. My SBD had never heard of the program, but I definitely perked up and we started talking about it. He said he had gotten one of the laptops through the program where you could buy one for a child in a lesser developed country and then get one for yourself. I was extremely jealous. Needless to say, my SBD got the discussion back on track, but I spent most of the rest of the meeting trying to figure out if there was some tactful way to get a look at that laptop...to no avail. Ah, well...

Dedication

So, I have a good friend who's going through a pretty rough time right now. She sometimes checks this blog, so I wanted to send a little message for when she next logs on. This is for you:

Something to make you chuckle - at least you don't live in a place where cars like this are a common sight!
I think, as shown in this picture, MacGregor (or Jigga) knows how you feel and would love (as I would) to be there with you.
And if I did happen to be there with you, we'd find something really comfortable (like a binkie) and we'd hang out all day doing nothing but relaxing and letting it all hang out! I love you and you know that I'm here whenever you want to talk or anything!

Olympic Mania

Have you been reading about all of the Olympic torch mayhem? I have to tell you that I am really loving it. I get incredible satisfaction when I see people go to great lengths to display their opinion. I think it is totally outrageous (in a good way) that protestors in France actually tried to grab the torch and it had to be re-lit 3 times before finally being put on a bus for the last leg. I also think it is awesome that college students shimmied up the Golden Gate Bridge to display huge banners (as San Francisco is the only US stop on the tour). Three of them stayed up there for hours because they knew they would be arrested when they came back down. I just think that it is a good reminder that even though we appear to be accepting China more and more on a global level (not that that is a bad thing as long as we can use that as leverage for good), China has in no way stopped its horrible history of human rights abuses. Anyway, I better stop before I go on a tirade, but I just wanted to make you aware in case you aren't already following the story. I love things like this because they make people think! What's your opinion about China being accepted on the world stage? Do you have one? Do you care?

Increase Your Knowledge

So, being from California, I have come across people who have many false assumptions about the state. I decided to inform all those who didn't already know about a few things. Here goes.

Things you should know about California:

1. We have mountains. And snow. BIG mountains. Ever heard of the Sierra Nevadas? Donner Pass (where it was so cold and snowy and conditions were so bad that they had to eat the dead bodies)? Mammoth? Yosemite? You know how we have earthquakes? Yeah. Those usually happen on fault lines. Know what else happens on fault lines? Yup, mountains.

2. California is a BIG state. If you want to drive from the bottom of CA to the top, it would take you probably close to 20 hours. Seriously. So when somebody says they are from San Francisco area or Southern California, realize that they are talking about a 6 hour drive or so (for perspective, it takes probably 8-9 hours to get from Southern CA to Provo).

3. San Francisco is not really in Northern California. Okay, maybe it is slightly in Northern California, but mostly it is in Central California - remember that it's a big state?

4. People from California don't usually call it Cali (granted there are a very few exceptions - usually people who haven't lived here for a while). Oh, and while I'm on it, note that people never call Orange County the OC. That's the name of a TV show. Period.

5. We have farms. Lots of farms. Lots of cows. In fact, the central part of California is pretty much all agriculture. When people say they are from Fresno, that's more of what you should be picturing rather than palm trees and beaches. If someone says they are from California and they have never seen a cow they're either lying or totally in their own world.

6. Misconception: there are no open areas in California (especially Southern California). It depends what you are talking about. It is true that there are generally a lot of people along the coast (not always, but most of the time), but we actually have a lot of open area. We have a really big empty desert (the Mojave). We also have tons of national parks (think Yosemite, Lassen, Sequoia, etc.). Not only that, but we must have open spaces because how do you think all of the wildfires start? Not in someone's kitchen, that's for sure.

7. No, we do not have earthquakes every day. You can't even feel most earthquakes because they are too small. I can distinctly remember 2 destructive earthquakes in Southern California during my lifetime and the last one was the Northridge earthquake in 1994.

8. Contrary to popular opinion, though California usually has pretty good weather, it is NOT a tropical climate. Translation - the ocean is cold. In about August and sometimes July it warms up and you can definitely go swimming, but it is not warm. Sorry to burst your bubble, but palm trees are not native to Southern California either, they just grow well here. And it really only rains in the winter months. Rarely does it rain after April and before November (by the way, that's called a Mediterranean Climate - guess where else is the only place on earth with the same climate?).

9. June Gloom - Southern California is not always sunny and pretty during the summer (actually, my favorite months in California are not the summer months, but that's just me). We get this thing called June Gloom. It has to do with a cloud cover that comes in from the ocean. I'm just saying, if you are looking for sunny skies, they are hit and miss in June (although it is still warm).

10. Californians can't really be generalized. Because it is such a large state, you must be careful in thinking that you can make generalizations about the state. I'm not talking about little differences that you find in every state, but the culture is actually pretty distinctive. Think of the differences you can imagine between Los Angeles and San Francisco. They actually are extremely different cities. Thus, Northern and Southern California are pretty distinctive culturally. You should really visit each to find out - wouldn't that be so much fun?

Anyway, if you stuck with it and read the whole list, hopefully you are a more educated person regarding California. Just something that's been on my mind. I think the key is just to remember that California is really BIG, which means that it's really hard to make assumptions about the whole state...

...

Sudan rejects Darfur rape charges

Sigh.