"I'm Getting Older, Too..."

(this is me in thinking pose - yes, it's an old picture)

Good news - I heard from one of my schools yesterday that I was accepted. This is a huge relief since I didn't make it into what I was thinking of as my safety school the week before and was getting pretty depressed about it. At least now I have the option of going to grad school, right? Just waiting to hear from a couple more schools, then I actually have to figure out what I am going to do. I hate making decisions like this. Sigh. But I love having options! :)

Reflecting

Okay, I have a confession to make. I really don't get the whole New Year's thing. I mean, unless you are a big drinker or are really excited to set off your illegal fireworks right outside my window, I just don't really think it's a big deal. Maybe that's because I've never had a magical Happy New Year moment, but most of the parties and celebrations I have ever been to on NYE I could describe with one word: lame. (sorry if you are one of the people that was with me at those moments).

Anyway, upon further reflection I decided to write down a couple of points of interest from the past year. I don't really like making New Year's Resolutions because I think they are, well, lame - I mean, why does it have to be a special day to make a goal? Why is January 1 different than any other day? So, here are some thoughts (don't feel you have to read these if you have absolutely no interest...though if that is the case, I doubt you are still reading this post now...):

1. Getting old sucks. It just does. Whether it's turning 29 or 90, it just really stinks. Eventually you lose your drivers license, can't walk on your own, and all of your friends are gone. Sucky.

2. I still am a really crappy correspondant. Hopefully, at this point all of my good friends are aware of that failing and don't condemn me when I don't return calls or emails quickly. Though I do have to say that texting might be my strong point...

3. I love seeing my best friends start their families. There is a twinge of sadness that I'm not there with them, but overall I am so completely happy that they are getting what they want in life and they have beautiful and loving families and are having great adventures.

4. Being sick sucks. Being sick for over a year sucks. Being sick for over a year and not really have a complete solution sucks. Being sick for over a year with no solution and having tons of tests REALLY sucks. Blood tests, cat scans, x-rays, EKGs, ultrasounds, endoscopies, and wearing a tube down your throat all really suck. Having to pretend that you feel fine at work so your supervisor doesn't start to assume that you can't do your job and keep hinting that maybe you should take some time off so you can sit at home and do nothing also sucks. Moving on...

5. I have developed adult ADD. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Case in point - grad school applications are still not done. ADD + sick = big time sucks.

6. Although MacGregor (our dog) is old, runs into things, can't really see or smell very well, and sleeps 23.5 hours a day, I still love that old man. There's nothing better on a rainy morning than cuddling in a nice, soft, warm bed with a really soft, warm dog sleeping deeply next to you. (of course, later when that dog tracks in poop from the backyard because he can't see that he's stepping in it, those feelings begin to fade).

7. I'm nervous and scared that for some reason this grad school thing won't work out. Maybe it's not what I'm supposed to be doing (which would be the worst since there's nothing else to do!), and maybe I won't get into any of the schools I apply to. Or maybe I will get in and won't be feeling better and won't have any health insurance...sigh. I need to stop worrying about this.

8. I really love my family. As we have gotten older, it had really opened up a whole new dimension to the relationships between me and my siblings. Although they still have the ability to bug me like no one else and won't ever let me forget my faults, they really are the only people in the whole world that I am utterly and completely comfortable with. I especially love hanging out with my sisters (sorry, boys). We know each other so well and can just laugh and have fun and be stupid and silly and mean and we will still love each other.

9. I am really excited that there will be a new niece and another new niece/nephew to join the family this year! It's hard that people don't live close by anymore, but I love those nieces and nephews more than I ever thought possible.

10. My sister-in-law stole my birthday. Okay, she didn't really steal it, but it's weird to not be the only one in the family with my birthday now. Although I do love you, R, and am happy you are a part of the family!

11. Sealings of super close friends and siblings are really great. When K and R got married this summer, I was just so happy for them. It will be fun to see how R starts to fit into the family dynamic as we get to know her better and she becomes one of the group.

12. I miss bread. I miss wheat. I even miss rye and barley even though I didn't eat them much before.

13. Confession - I haven't cut my hair for probably over a year now, not even a trim. I know, I know! It's horrible but when I think of the complications of trying to find someone who will use gluten-free products and sitting in a salon with gluten-filled air floating around me, I get really chicken. I keep putting it off. I'm really good at that. So when people tell me they like how long my hair is now, I always feel a twinge of guilt that it is a direct result of avoidance.

14. Apparently, I am "closed." Or that's the response that I got when a guy was telling me about a couple of guys in the ward who think I'm great. I then said, well, nobody ever asks me out. Then he said that they said that I seem "closed." What is that supposed to mean? Maybe because I don't have the flirting gene? I try to be friendly with everyone. I'm not actually sure why I am so bothered since most of the people in my ward are the age of my youngest brother, but I am. Oh well, this way I don't have to be awkward about dating someone under the age of 25 anyway.

I could probably think of some other things, but I kind of like the idea of my list ending at a random number like 14. Keeps people off-balance. Anyway, here's hoping that this year is a great one - although I am sure it will be full of ups and downs like the other ones. :)

Drama Queen

We saw this commercial on one of those random TV shows that my Dad loves to watch. Something about the funniest commercials of 2010 or along those lines. I wanted to share since I thought this one was absolutely hilarious. Enjoy!

Bad Idea

Bad Idea: Having a coworker convince you to finally try KenKen when you really need to be finishing up grad school applications. Or working...haha.

Overly Ambitious

Really, Mr. Mailman? Some days we can't even get you to come to our office and today you come twice? Don't complain that my packages are posted for tomorrow's date. It's your own fault for being overly-ambitious during the holiday season.

Stormy Weather...

My drive to work this morning:

Okay, it wasn't quite that bad. But I do have to say that after avoiding flooded streets, spending 12 minutes trying to go 1 block, 3 major intersections with the lights out, Jeronimo Rd closed due to mud, multiple fire trucks and sirens, passing two accidents, and driving under one hanging wire - I finally made it. I do still love the rain, though...

PS - One perk of the weather is that the canyon people are coming out again into the real world. We usually only get to see them during the fires, so this is epic!

Super Shoes

I saw these amazing shoe add-ons on Design Mom and had to share. I could definitely use all of my Superhero capabilities with a pair of these babies:

What could you do with a pair of shoe wings? If I ran races, I would definitely buy a pair to add to my shoes and thus intimidate all those around me.

The Case of the Hiding Dog

So, as MacGregor gets older, he has started having some health issues. He can't see very well and his back legs are really weak, so he is constantly bumping into things like door jamps, walls, you name it. Luckily, he spends 23.5 out of 24 hours of the day sleeping, so he doesn't run into too many things.

One of the funny things that has changed, recently, though was that last weekend he went through a phase where he decided that he wanted to sleep in hiding.

After a Saturday morning where it took 25 minutes just to get him into the bathtub to wash him off (and not because he is mean, but because he is a heavy golden retriever and when he doesn't want to do something he becomes completely limp and is really heavy to carry), he decided to hide from us. The only way we found out where he was sleeping was because my Mom went over by the computer and heard a little snore. She looked over, and there he was, fast asleep, between the step maching and the window - completely hidden.

Then, the next morning, while getting ready for church, I heard this amazing snore coming from the bathroom. I turned around and couldn't see anything through the partially-opened bathroom door. I poked my head around the door and this is what I saw:

He slept in the hidden bathroom spot for over 4 hours. Wow. Apparently, he really wanted to remain hidden and was still traumatized after the bath from the day before and needed to recover his strength.

Oh, Gregor, how we love you. I know Grandpa always says we should put you down, but we like you around, even if you just sleep all the time!

What the...seriously?

One of the weird things I have noticed working at a nonprofit is that everyone feels like you owe them something.

We seriously had a woman contact one of our staff members wondering if she could get a cookbook at a discount or for free because she had fundraised $50. Seriously? I don't even get a discount and you think you should? Why don't you just not give that donation and buy the book yourself? Sigh.

And, no, I don't want to feel pressured to buy Tupperware from you because you are on my volunteer planning committee - I work for a nonprofit, not a moneypot!

They also think that your logo is free property and have no issues with stealing it off the website and using it in company emails, shirts...whatever. Really? Would you do that with the logo of, say, McDonalds? Toyota? GAP? No! Why would this be any different??? If anything, nonprofits need to be even more careful about how their logo is used!

Anyway - just wanted to get some of that off of my chest.

Just Not Strong Enough

Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed by all of the websites and networks I am a part of and think I need to cut down. But then I can't. I just stay connected and constantly feel guilty that they aren't updated. Is that weird?

Spider Love

So, I don't know what's been going on recently, but I have been surrounded by spiders. Not just any old spiders, but big, ugly spiders. I mean really big. Bigger than I have ever seen in the area (though I do have to admit that they are not bigger than the spiders I saw in Mozambique and Brazil). The thing is - I really think they are following me.

For example, in the last couple of days, I have had some serious sightings. First, we spotted one of these really large, fat spiders on a web while going on our lunch walk at work. Not only did we just spot it on it's really large web, we saw it attack and eat a fly as we walked by. That sucker was fast for his girth, that's for sure.

Then, on my walk around the block, I had to duck under another really big spider web with a big fat spider on it multiple times.

What really convined me that they are following me, though, is that between my 2nd and 3rd times around the block (probably about 7 minutes apart), one of the big fat spiders literally built his web across the sidewalk and saw there waiting for me to walk through it. Really, just between those 2 rounds around the block, the stinking thing set a trap for me.

All I'm saying is that the spiders have it out for me. Maybe it's a part of our weird El Nino-ish weather this year. Maybe I just never knew it, but spiders are a part of the Halloween festivities because they normally come out more this time of the year and I never really noticed?

Not sure, but I just have one request - if they can't leave me alone, can they at least make their webs very visible? I definitely wouldn't want to accidentally run into one of these bad boys.

Something Beautiful

Your secret from Jean-Sebastien Monzani on Vimeo.

Saw this video on another blog and wanted to share. Calm and beautiful. I like the concept.

Hunger for The Hunger Games

So, those of you who know me, know that I love to read. I can especially get caught up in young adult literature. Recently, some family members introduced me to The Hunger Games. Unfortunately they introduced me when only 2 out of 3 of the books have been published. And now I am hooked. And now I am really mad that it is not August when the 3rd book comes out. Argh!

Poema para um dia de chuva

When I was in Mozambique, we studied Mozambican literature from a textbook that our professor had written. This is one of my favorite poems that we read (in it's English translation). Someday I think I would like to have this posted near my front door:

Poem for a Rainy Day

My home is a lighthouse in the middle of the night.

Come, whoever you may be

at first you'll be like the stem of a flower

dripping over the carpet

and we will watch you

as the color of the rain

but immediately, almost immediately

you will feel in yours the warm palms

of our hands

and you will find in the design of our smiles

the translation of the hour.

- Gloria de Sant'Anna

as translated by Frederick G. Williams

Madness of March

So, things are really busy at work right now. I mean really busy. I won't go into detail, but it is enough that I am wondering if it is related to some of my health problems lately. So, what was I doing all day today? Checking my bracket for our Yahoo! group. Am I even a big college basketball fan? No, not really. Are we talking about avoidance? Yes, definitely. Recognition is the first step, right?